Round and Round, Up and Down, Highs and Lows.

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I don’t know if it was just the bad timing of my son being taken into hospital causing a lack of sleep (and an increase in stress), but switching back to tablets again caused massive problems for me today. I felt like a complete jibbering wreck when I got home from the hospital at 10.30am this morning having spent the night at the hospital.
I did grab an hour or so’s sleep on a camp bed next to my son after they finished the last test/examination of him around 3.15am and I was awake from around 6.40.  It was far too light in the room to go back to sleep so I sat reading a book.


My wife turned up at 10.15am or so to do the changeover and it was
about half way through the 11mile trip home that I started to get a
watery mouth and feel the first stages of panic coming on.
I
sometimes wonder if giving up smoking right now was the best time, but
then having gone outside to see if I could “steal” a cigarette off
someone already smoking and catching a whiff of some guy stood near the
entrance, that soon changed my mind as the awful smell hit me.  But I
think it’s the nicotine my body was craving for.

My back isn’t an issue at the moment compared to the complications I am getting from the pain killers.  I’m off to see my doctor this afternoon and I’m going to bin ALL narcotic based drugs regardless of how they are administered.  It just isn’t worth the hassle that comes with them.  For some reason I’m just unlucky enough to be in the small percentage of people that react to certain medications.
As you’ll find out, “unlucky” is my middle name.

At the moment, I feel like I’m on some massive emotional roller coaster. I don’t even think or care about my back and some around me might say that’s a good thing. But I don’t want all the extra hassles I’m getting along with the high’s and lows from the morphine. Trust me, I feel like I’m being pulled through a wrangle.  So this afternoon, I’ll see the doctor and tell her straight. They should have listened to me back in January/February. Narcotic based drugs are a big no no with me, full stop. 

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